***REGISTRATION IS NOW CLOSED, THE CLASS IS FULL*** If the recording of this event turns out well, we will offer it for purchase soon. Thank you for your interest!

Introduction:

Transformative Parenting is excited to announce our next online class, Why Children Say "NO!": Understanding and Working with the Resistant Child.

Every child possesses the instincts to disobey, resist, talk back, withhold cooperation, do the opposite of what's expected, break the rules, assume antisocial attitudes, etc. The behaviors are not inherited, neither do they need to be learned. Under certain conditions, every child has the potential to be obstinate, quarrelsome, belligerent, argumentative and noncompliant as well as to appear defiant, oppositional and disrespectful.

These behaviors and many more are an expression of a dynamic that is inherent to human nature. The dynamic was aptly dubbed counterwill by Otto Rank, an Austrian psychologist at the turn of the last century. Although we may be well accustomed to these impulses in ourselves, we are often suprised when we encounter them in our children. We tend to assume that children will just naturally want to do as we wish. Given this assumption, we also tend to hold it against them when they resist and oppose us. Counterwill is undoubtedly one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted dynamics in children. It is impossible to make sense of children without having some understanding and appreciation of the counterwill dynamic. To understand it is the foundation for knowing how to deal with it.

What is the meaning of counterwill? How does it fit into our child's development? Why do some children have more counterwill than others? How do we best handle this dynamic so we don't make it worse? We will explore these and other questions in this two-hour online class.

An outline of the class agenda:

• An brief introduction to the developmental/attachment model
• An explanation of the concept of counterwill (why children resist us) and why it is actually meant to help keep them safe.
  
• A number of different strategies for lessening counterwill so that you don't have to boss your child around or resort to unhelpful discipline practices.
  

The Online Format:

We have recently acquired some of the most advanced but easy-to-use eLearning software on the Internet. Adobe Acrobat Connect Pro allows us to teach classes in real-time online. You will see and hear our speaker, watch the presentation slides, and be able to type in questions and comments into the Chat Box. You can do this without downloading any special software or having any special technical knowledge. Here's what some people have had to say after taking part in an online class:

"Pretty neat to be sitting in my bed, drinking my juice and learning how to be a better parent. I learned a lot and from the convenience of my home."

"What a great way to learn-- I turned up the volume and was able to fold laundry and prepare lunch while attending a parenting class! I'm looking forward to more of this style of council."

"thank you - it was well-invested time for me and very well done!"

"Awesome information presented very clearly. Todd is obviously very knowledgeable in this field. He has a wealth of knowledge and is able to pass the information along in an understandable and comfortable fashion. He clearly loves his work."

"I really appreciate the support and validation of my goals for parenting in a world that often supports a very different approach towards parenting. Todd helps make the info from Dr. Neufeld's book more accessible and gives practical, concrete ways to put the theory into practice. Todd's commitment and passion about the work he does brings the material alive. I also appreciate the online format which made it possible for me to take the course at a time and place convenient for me."

"Todd shares his knowledge with passion, enthusiasm and energy. His knowledge is so deep and broad and gives me great confidence that I want to learn from him. He also teaches through story telling and personal experience which helps me understand the situations I find myself in with clarity thus allowing me to act from a much more confident position."

After you register, you will be given the website address for the event. The day of the class, you will click on the link we give you and be taken to our website. Once we confirm your registration, which only takes a moment, we let you in to the "room" and you view the class from the comfort of your home or office.

We are offering these online classes because they are a low-cost and convenient way to offer our consulting services to people all around North America and the world.

The Material:

As mentioned, this material is based on the work of our friend and mentor, Dr. Gordon Neufeld. The basis for the presentation is found in Hold On to Your Kids and the Power to Parent course. We also teach a one-day workshop based on these principles. The material is a great introduction for those who are new to this work or wanted an expansion of what they read in the book. It is also a great refresher for those who have read the book or attended Power to Parent.

The Presenter:

Todd Sarner, MA, MFT is a Parent Consultant and Educator and Director of Transformative Parenting in Mill Valley, CA. Hand-picked by Dr. Neufeld to be one of the first professionals to take part in his formal 2-year training program, he is now a Faculty Member of the Neufeld Institute. Todd has worked in several roles with children, adolescents, and adults over the years- including as a counselor and mentor to foster and at-risk kids and teens. Todd currently meets with parents in-person and on the telephone for parent consulting sessions and also does attachment-based couples counseling (EFT for Couples) for parents. Most importantly, Todd is the proud father of 5-year-old Benjamin.